Have you ever wished you could remember Norm's greetings on Cheers?

1. "What's shaking Norm?"
    "All four cheeks & a couple of chins."

2. "What's new Normie?"
    "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."

3. "What'd you like Normie?"
    "A reason to live. Give me another beer."

4. "What'll you have Normie?"
    "Well, I'm in a gambling mood Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap."
    "Looks like beer, Norm."
    "Call me Mister Lucky."

5. "Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?"
    "Like a baby treats a diaper."

6. "What's the story Mr. Peterson?"
    "The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy ending."

7. "Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
    "I know, if she calls, I'm not here."

8. "Beer, Norm?"
    "Have I gotten that predictable? Good."

9. "What's going on Mr. Peterson?"
    "A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.'"

10. "Whatcha up to Norm?"
      "My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall."

11. "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
      "I'm sorry to hear that."
      "No, I mean pour."

12. "How's life treating you Norm?"
      "Like it caught me sleeping with its wife."

13. "Women. Can't live with 'em...... pass the beer nuts."

14. "What's going down, Normie?"
      "My butt cheeks on that bar stool."

15. "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
      "Alright, but stop me at one... make that one-thirty."

16. "How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
      "It's a dog eat dog world, Woody & I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear."

17. "What's the story Norm?"
      "Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."

18. "Can I pour you a beer Mr. Peterson?"
      "A little early isn't it, Woody?"
      "For a beer?"
      "No, for stupid questions."

19. "How's life, Norm?"
    "Not for the squeamish, Coach."

20. "What's up, Norm?"
    "My nipples. It's freezing out there."

21. "What's the story, Norm?"
    "Thirsty guy walks into a bar. You finish it."

22. "What's new, Norm?"
    "Most of my wife."

23. "Beer, Norm?"
    "Naah, I'd probably just drink it."

24. "What's doing, Norm?"
    "Well, science is seeking a cure for thirst. I happen to be the guinea pig."

25. "Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
    "No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one."

26. "Beer, Normie?"
    "Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week. Eh, why not, I'm still young."

27. "What's up, Normie?"
    "The temperature under my collar, Coach."

28. "What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?"
    "Going down?"

29. [Norm returns from the hospital]
    "What's up, Norm?"
    "Everything that's supposed to be."

30. [Norm comes in with an attractive woman]
    "Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?"
    "With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe."

31. [Norm comes in out of the rain]
    "Still pouring Norm?"
    "That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."

32. "What'll it be, Normie?"
    "Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel."

33. "What would you say to a beer, Normie?"
    "Daddy wuvs you."

34. "How about a beer, Norm?"
    "Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life."

35. "How's a beer sound, Norm?"
    "I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in."

36. "What's up, Norm?"
    "Corners of my mouth, Coach."

37. "What'd you like, Normie?"
    "A reason to live. Gimme another beer."

38. "What do you say, Norm?"
    "Any cheap, tawdry thing that'll get me a beer."

39. "What do you say to a beer, Normie?"
    "Hiya, sailor. New in town?"

40. "What's the good word, Norm?"
    " Plop, plop, fizz, fizz."
    "Oh no, not the Hungry Heifer.…"
    "Yeah, yeah, yeah.…."
    "One heartburn cocktail coming up."

41. "Whaddya say, Norm?"
    "Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink. And down it goes."

42. [Norm goes into the bar at Vic's Bowl-A-Rama]
    Off-screen crowd: "Norm!"
    Sam: "How the hell do they know him here?"
    Cliff: "He's got a life, you know."

43. "What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."

44. "How's life, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Oh, I'm waiting for the movie."

45. "What can I do for you, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Elope with my wife."

46. " How's life in the fast lane, Normie?"
    "Beats me, I can't find the on-ramp."

47. "What's happening, Mr. Peterson?"
    "The question is, Woody, why is it happening to me?"

48. "What's the latest, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Zha-Zha marries a millionaire, Peterson drinks a beer. Film at eleven."

49. "How are you today, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better."

50. "Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?"
    "See you later, Vera, I'll be at Cheers."

51. "Well, look at you. You look like the cat that swallowed the canary."
    "And I need a beer to wash him down."

52. "Hey, Mr. Peterson, how's life?"
    "Well, the plot's okay, Woody, but it kind of falls apart at the end."

53. "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Let's talk about what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer, Woody."

54. "How's life treating you?"
    "It's not, Sammy, but that doesn't mean you can't."

55. "Hey, Mr. Peterson, you got room for a beer?"
    "Nope, but I am willing to add on."

56. "What can I get you, Norm?"
    [scratching his beard] "Got any flea powder?
    Ah, just kidding. Gimme a beer; I think I'll just drown the little suckers."

57. "Hey, Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?"
    "Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?"

58. "Nice cold beer coming up, Mr. Peterson."
    "You mean, `Nice cold beer going down Mr. Peterson.'"

59. "What do you know there, Norm?"
    "How to sit. How to drink. Want to quiz me?"

60. "Hey, how's life treating you there, Norm?"
    "Beats me,..... Then it kicks me and leaves me for dead."

61. "How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Pretty nervous if I was in the room."

62. "Hey, Mr. Peterson, what's up?"
    "The warranty on my liver."

63. "What can I do for you, Norm?"
    "Open up those beer taps and, oh, take the day off, Sam."

64. "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
    "Another layer for the winter, Woody."

65. Sam: [answers the phone] "Cheers!"
    [to gang] "Hey guys, it's Norm."
    [holds up the receiver] All: "Norm!"
    Sam: [to phone] "Hey, what's shakin' man?"
    [chuckles] [to gang] "Where does he come up with these things?"

66. "What's going on, Normie?"
    "My birthday, Sammy. Give me a beer, stick a candle in it, and I'll blow out my liver."

67. "Hey, Mr. P. How goes the search for Mr. Clavin?"
    "Not as well as the search for Mr. Donut. Found him every couple of blocks."

68. "How about a beer, Norm?"
    "That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"

69. "How are you Mr. Peterson?"
    "Yeah...as if you care."

70. "What's shaking Mr. Peterson?"
    "What isn't?"

71. "How's it going, Norm?"
    "Cut the small talk and get me a beer."

72. "What can I do for you Norm?"
    "Well, I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. Uhhh, how about a first one?"

73. "How's life Norm?"
    "Ask a man whose got one."

74. "What's up Norm?"
    "God's in His Heaven, [pause] something, something, something."

75. "Beer, Norm?"
    "Yeah, that's it."

76. "How's the world treating you, Norm?"
    "Like I just ran over its dog."

77. "How are you today, Norm?"
    "I'm on top of the world...It's a dismal spot in Greenland."

78. "What'll you have, Norm?"
    "Fame, fortune, and fast women."
    "How 'bout a beer?"
    "Even better."

79. "Whatcha up to Norm?"
    "My ears."

80. "Beer Norm?"
    ""Does a rag doll have cloth knobs?"

81. "Beer Norm?"
    "I remember that stuff. Better give me a tall one in case I like it. "

Return To Home Page